A Quiet Kind of Trust
Posted on Wed Apr 22, 2026 @ 5:55pm by Commander Cara Letsul & Commander Tayanita 'Tay' Lio'ven
Edited on on Thu Apr 23, 2026 @ 12:50am
2,538 words; about a 13 minute read
Mission:
Jubilee
Location: Deck looking over the promenade
Timeline: Late Afternoon
There was a need to talk to someone. Cara though, didn't want to talk to T'Lul. The person who she felt most comfortable and peaceful in communicating with was Tayanita. The two women had connected on a certain level that Cara hadn't been able to do so with others in the past.
She had told T'mpest about having had the katra of a former love's dead wife in her mind. Still though, Cara wondered if on a metaphysical aspect could her having housed the katra of T'Mar for over ten years have affected her? She didn't wish anyone else to know of this, except for Tayanita.
She didn't wish to call her over the combadge, this was something private, something personal. Cara though figured on something, she listened. Knowing that she would be guided to where Tayanita could be. It has happened before. She stepped out of her quarters, to follow where she could find Tayanita.
The upper promenade was quieter than the levels below. Not empty — never empty — but softened. Conversations blurred into low currents, footsteps muted by distance. From here, the station felt less like machinery and more like a living thing.
Tayanita rested her hands lightly along the railing, watching the movement below.
A pair of junior officers arguing in animated whispers over something trivial. A family navigating around them, a child tugging free to chase the shifting lights along the floor panels. A Bolian merchant gesturing too broadly while trying to close a deal. Life, layered and overlapping, none of it aware it was being observed.
She liked this vantage point.
After nine and a half centuries, she had learned that watching was often more revealing than speaking. Patterns emerged. Tension showed itself in shoulders before it ever reached words. Loneliness had a gait. Joy had a posture.
She wasn’t searching for anyone in particular.
But she felt the shift before she saw it.
Her hair pulled back in a simple braid, a skirt of ebon black hit mid shin. The peasant blouse she wore was light blue, the slip on shoes were black in color.
She quietly went to the rail next to Tayanita, leaning her forearms along the top of it, contemplating the view. Letting the background sounds of life wash over her.
She didn't immediately speak, just watched the flow of life. Just feeling the patterns. Cara taking the time to do so.
Tay didn’t look at her straight away. She just shifted slightly, making room at the rail without drawing attention to it.
“Best place on the station,” she said quietly. “Up here you can see everything without being in the middle of it.”
A small pause, eyes still following the movement below.
“Give it a few minutes and you start noticing the rhythms. Who’s pretending they’re fine. Who’s actually fine. Who’s about to collide with someone and doesn’t know it yet.”
Only then did she glance sideways, a soft acknowledgement in her expression.
“It helps. Just watching.”
"It does." Cara answered back, her attention becoming more engrossed in watching the movement of life.
"It has a soothing quality, putting things into a flow." the dark haired woman commented.
There was one person or rather two persons which caught Cara's interest. An Orion woman, walking alongside another, a Vulcan male. They were wearing rough style clothing something that would be seen in a freeport.
This sent a ripple through Cara's memory, it reminding her of T'Mar. She blinked a couple of times, feeling relieved that they were not phantom memories those were just two people, who were together.
Tayanita followed Cara’s gaze without making it obvious, letting her eyes drift down to the pair moving through the crowd below. Orion and Vulcan, walking close enough to each other that their shoulders almost brushed, dressed more like travellers than Starfleet officers. It was an unusual pairing, but not unheard of on a station like this.
She watched them pass beneath the promenade lights for a few quiet seconds before speaking.
“It does that,” Tay said softly. “Watching people like this. It smooths the mind out a little… lets things settle into their proper places.”
Her attention returned to the movement of the promenade for a moment, though she was aware of the subtle shift in Cara beside her—the blink, the breath that had come a fraction too sharp before evening out again. Tay didn’t stare, didn’t pry, but she had spent far too many years observing people not to notice when a memory had just brushed past someone.
After a moment she rested her forearms on the rail beside Cara’s, mirroring the posture in a quiet, companionable way.
“Something about them caught your attention,” she said gently, not quite a question. “Sometimes people walking past can pull an old thread loose before we realise it’s there.”
Her tone stayed calm, almost conversational, giving the space room to breathe.
Watching the river of life below, Cara spoke quietly, her voice low and contemplative.
"A memory, not exactly one of my own, but one from a woman who's katra I held in my mind for many years."
She let out a soft sigh which had strong emotions attached to them, her mind touching upon the bitter-sweet memories.
"The person came from a union between a Vulcan and an Orion." turning her head to look at Tay.
"T'Mar was her name, she was deeply loved by someone I once knew. One who had held her katra in his mind for years before I met him. And I loved him deeply."
Her voice was colored as she spoke of the man.
"For one who is human, he had great mental strength in not succumbing to what could have driven him to madness. He held and cherished her katra ever since she had died." Cara turning back to regard the promenade.
Tayanita didn’t interrupt her. She let Cara’s words settle into the quiet space between them the same way the sounds of the promenade drifted up from below.
Her gaze followed the current of people for a moment longer before she spoke.
“That’s… a heavy thing to carry,” she said gently.
She shifted slightly against the rail, folding her hands together as she thought it through rather than rushing to answer. “The human mind is still largely a frontier, even in this century. We’ve mapped oceans, charted nebulae, and crossed half the quadrant… but the mind?” She gave a small, thoughtful shake of her head. “Most neurologists would admit we still understand only pieces of it.”
Her eyes flicked briefly toward Cara.
“And yet it’s capable of extraordinary things. Humans have endured telepathic links with Betazoids, mind-meld echoes from Vulcans, even the residual imprint of other consciousnesses. Starfleet Medical has entire archives devoted to cases where the mind held far more than it should have been able to.”
She glanced back down toward the promenade where the Orion and Vulcan pair had now disappeared into the flow.
“What you’re describing… it doesn’t sound like madness to me. It sounds like devotion.”
A quiet pause settled between them again before she continued, her voice softer.
“And carrying someone’s katra for that long—first him, then you—that would leave impressions behind. Not possession, not something taking root in you. But memories… emotions… they can echo.” She rested her forearms on the rail again, posture relaxed. “Especially if you cared about the person who carried them before you did.”
Her head turned slightly toward Cara, expression open rather than probing.
“What part of it still feels like it belongs to you?”
"I am trying to figure that out. I let both of them go when I was on another station. He took her with him, her katra was placed in a katric vessel shaped like a ships lantern from the 1800's." Cara responded there was still the ache there of the separation from them both.
"I had to say goodbye, to hopefully do some healing, to move forward." Cara shared quietly.
She shifted herself to where Cara could somewhat see Tayanita's profile, feeling a calmness descend upon her.
"The love both T'Mar and I shared for Fernandez ran deep. I though had to let him go, let them both go."
She drew in a breath, letting it out slowly.
"My having knowledge of her existence in my mind had been hidden away from me. Until I met someone who, when I was helping him face his grief about the loss of another, unlocked the deep recesses of my mind."
She stopped there, Cara looking back out towards the promenade.
Tayanita was quiet for a few moments, giving Cara’s words room to settle instead of rushing to meet them.
“That’s a hard thing,” she said at last, her voice low and even. “Not just losing them, but finding out part of you had been carrying all of that without your knowing. Having it opened up all at once… that would shake anyone.”
She turned slightly, enough that Cara could see the softness in her expression. “And I don’t think healing always means being able to separate every feeling into neat little pieces. Some things have been lived too closely for that. Love does that. Grief does too.”
Her gaze drifted briefly to the crowd below, then back again. “You shared space with a dead woman’s katra. You loved the man who carried her before you did. Of course some of it still feels tangled. I’d be more surprised if it didn’t.”
A small pause followed.
“Maybe the question isn’t whether every feeling can be traced cleanly back to its source.” Her tone stayed gentle, grounded. “Maybe it’s whether, now that they’re gone, you can let yourself feel what’s left without fearing it means you’ve lost yourself.”
She let that sit between them for a moment.
“You said you had to let them go so you could heal and move forward. That sounds to me like some part of you already knows who you are. Even if the rest is taking a while to catch up.”
A slow nod from Cara, as to Tayanita's perceptions and words of wisdom. "I believe that to be the truth, my adopted sister, she told me that I did need to allow myself to live, and not close myself up." she went silent, "I have secrets though that I need to hold on to"
A moment of silence, as Cara turned to face Tayanita directly, as if looking beyond the mortal surface.
"Though, I can trust you." Cara's voice rather solemn.
She swallowed hard as if to clear the lump in her throat. Her heartrate spiked up, her breathing changed slightly.
Cara hesitated, did she dare share what she had been keeping guard over for so long?
They say a shared burden could seem much lighter, but would it be fair to burden someone else with the knowledge that Cara held onto, and a reason why she also kept her distance from others?
Turning back to look out over the promenade, Cara gave out a deep seated sigh.
"There are things, that I keep secure inside my mind, which in essence could put others in danger. I-am reluctant in discussing it even now."
Resting her forearms on top of the rails, interlinking her fingers together, Cara remarked softly
"It though, is also a reason why I haven't dared to explore getting into relationship. Earlier I felt it too soon to get into a relationship, but now, there is someone I wish to try." Cara lowering her eyes to look down at her hands.
Tayanita stayed quiet for a moment, not because she didn’t have an answer, but because Cara had said enough that it deserved a little space around it.
Then she turned a little more fully toward her, expression calm and warm rather than intent.
“There’s nothing wrong with having things you keep private,” she said gently. “Everyone does. Some things aren’t ready to be spoken yet. Some never need to be.” A faint pause. “And trust doesn’t have to mean handing someone every locked door in your mind all at once.”
Her eyes flicked briefly to the people moving below them on the promenade, then back again. “This also isn’t the best place to carry something heavier than conversation.” There was no judgement in it, only practicality. “Too many ears, even when no one seems to be listening.”
She eased off the rail and gave Cara a small, reassuring look. “If you want to talk, properly, we can find somewhere quieter. My quarters, the garden deck, one of the consult rooms after hours. Somewhere you don’t have to measure every word against the sound of foot traffic.”
Her tone softened a little more at the mention of someone Cara wanted to try for. “As for that... I think you already know the real problem isn’t whether you’re capable of caring for someone. It’s whether you believe closeness is safe when you’re carrying things you don’t fully trust.” She let that settle. “That’s not something you have to solve standing over a railing.”
A small, almost fond smile touched her mouth. “So let’s not force this into one conversation or one answer. If you want to keep talking, I’ll listen. If you’re not ready, that’s alright too. We can just be two women watching the station breathe for a little while longer.”
"Perhaps watching things breathe would be a good thing, before opening any other doors within my mind." an answering warm smile from Cara. "When done, a private place where none can hear except for us. " her smile was one of fondness. "And I thank you."
Tay’s smile softened, but something in Cara’s choice of words made her hold the moment a little more carefully.
“Opening doors in your mind isn’t a small thing,” she said quietly. “Not when you’ve spent this long deciding what has to stay guarded.” Her tone wasn’t clinical, just honest. “I’m not going to pretend that’s my field. I’m a doctor, not a counsellor. But I can listen, and sometimes that’s what matters most at the start.”
She rested her forearms back on the rail, giving Cara the comfort of looking outward rather than being looked at. “And sometimes it’s better not to force a door just because you’ve found the handle. Sometimes you sit with it first. Make sure it’s the right one. Make sure you won’t be standing there alone when it opens.”
Her gaze drifted to the levels below, to the slow movement of people through the station. “So yes. We watch things breathe. And when you’re ready, we’ll find somewhere quiet and you can say as much or as little as you need to.”
A faint, warm glance sideways. “That part, I can do.”
Commander Cara Letsul
Executive Officer
Deep Space 5
Commander Tayanita Lio'ven
Chief Medical Officer
Deep Space 5
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