Who Let The Sheep Out
Posted on Tue Oct 14, 2025 @ 4:26am by Lieutenant Commander Karzen Son of Arjune, Son of Ragan MD, MPH & Lieutenant JG Jali Andloch
Edited on on Tue Oct 14, 2025 @ 4:44am
1,552 words; about a 8 minute read
Mission:
Chicken Run
Location: Secondary Sickbay
Timeline: MD1 Concurrent with On the Hunt
ON
"BAAAAAAAA!!!!"
Karzen stood in the center of the chaos that was the base's Secondary Sickbay, chortling maniacally as a herd of sheep took over the place, bleating loudly.
"BAAAAAAAA!!!!"
Karzen had encountered Terran sheep on the various frontier worlds he'd worked on decades ago, when he was with the Federation Frontier Health Service. He'd found the noise they made amusing, but not as amusing as when he realized that sheep sound like people trying to sound like sheep.
"BAAAAAAAA!!!" said the sheep.
"BAAAAAAAA!!!" said Karzen, right back at the sheep, before going back to chortling maniacally as his staff tried to capture all of the woolly animals. "BAAAAAAA, my friends! BAAAAAAA!!!"
At some point, Karzen remembered he was sort of in charge and probably ought to do something. He looked around and saw that Chief Oladele was almost as amused as he was. He waved over at him. "Babatunde! Baba!" Karzen called out.
The Chief saw Karzen waving at him and fought his way through the sheep to his commander. "Commander?" he said. "Any ideas?"
"Yes, actually," he said. "Quarantine fields. We can use the fields to channel them. The question is, do we try and contain them, making our Sickbay largely useless, or do we try and force them out, making the sheep Security's problem."
"Out," Baba replied. "Definitely out."
"Agreed," Karzen said. "Then we disinfect and sanitize this place and get ready for patients. Spread the word and get someone manning the field controls."
"Aye, aye, Commander," Babatunde said.
It took a while, but they managed to use containment fields and good old fashioned pushing and shoving to get the sheep out of Secondary Sickbay and into the corridor. Karzen quickly assigned the Charge Nurse to supervise cleaning of the droppings and leavings and various puddles left behind, after which they would stand clear and with the flick of a switch, disinfect and sanitize the place. They did, however, now have a problem.
"Baba," Karzen said.
"Yes, Boss," the tall Nigerian said.
"Baba," Karzen said. "We now find ourselves with another problem."
"We do," Babatunde said. He was being dead serious.
"Ah," Karzen said. "And do you have any suggestions as to how we get the herd of sheep that has taken its occupying army routine out into the corridor and is now making it difficult for anyone to get in here from that hatch."
"Give me a minute," Baba said. "An idea will come to me."
A minute passed.
"Well?" Karzen asked.
"It's caught in traffic," Baba replied. "The idea. Or maybe it missed its train."
"I see," Karzen said.
"Yes," Baba said.
The two men stood in the middle of Sickbay and devoted themselves to having a good think, as people do from time to time, when faced with a herd of Terran sheep blockading the entrance to their workplace. As neither of the men had ever had their workplace blockaded by sheep before (one had to admit, this was outside the realm of the normal), ideas on how to solve the problem did not seem to be forthcoming.
"This may take some time to figure out," Karzen said.
"Yes," Baba said.
"Aren't you Chief Petty Officers supposed to be all knowing?"
"I'm a Chief Hospital Corpsman," Baba replied. "For this situation we need a Chief Shepherd's Mate."
"Right," Karzen said. "Wait, aren't Large Animal Medicine and Herd Management part of your SpecOps Corpsman training? There's a herd outside of our front door. I don't suppose you can manage it for us?"
"I mean," Baba said. "I could treat them for brucelosis. Would that help?"
"Probably not..." Karzen said. "Wait, do you think they have brucelosis?"
"I don't know," Baba said. "Would you like me to ask them?"
Karzen opened his mouth as if to say something, then thought better of it. The two men went back to having a good think.
While the two men were thinking, Security Petty Officer 1st Class Krupke and his patrol partner Petty Officer 3rd Class Shakira (of the Truthful Hips Clan) pushed their way past the sheep in the corridor and entered Secondary Sickbay. Krupke looked around at all of the medical personnel cleaning up after the sheep. At the center of all of this were a Lieutenant Commander and a Chief Petty Officer, looking... pensive? Pensive would do. Krupke and Shakira approached the two men.
"Commander," Krupke said. "Chief. If you don't mind, could you please tell me who is responsible for the herd of sheep in the corridor? Last I heard about the herd..." Krupke grimaced (the poor man didn't have much of a sense of humor, to be honest), realizing what he'd said, then went on. "They had invaded Secondary Sickbay? Who released them?"
Karzen and Babatunde looked at each other and said, simultaneously:
"He did it!"
"Jinx!"
"Not it!"
Krupke looked from one man to the other. They're insane. he thought to himself. "I'm serious!" he said. "Who let the sheep out?"
Babatunde looked at Karzen. "Who let the sheep out?" he asked.
"Who?" asked Karzen. "Who?"
"Who?" asked Babatunde. "Who?"
Karzen looked at Krupke. "Who?" he asked.
Krupke, for his part, turned so red that the two medical professionals were a little concerned he was going to have a brain aneurysm. "THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW!!!" he shouted.
Karzen and Babatunde turned to each other and smiled at each other. They turned to Krupke and Shakira and smiled more broadly. These smiles were a blend of mischeviousness, and pure, unadulterated, evil. Karzen's might even be called feral.
"Sir," said Babatunde.
Krupke blinked. "Excuse me?" he said, his sense of incredulity clear in his voice.
"I think," Babatunde said. "You meant to say 'That's what I want to know, sir.'"
"What?" Krupke said, and then, realizing what was happening, immediately began regretting his life choices.
"Chief," said Karzen. "I think you meant to say 'What, Chief?'"
Krupke winced. This is going to be uncomfortable, isn't it he thought to himself.
"You see," Babatunde said. "I'm a Chief Hospital Corpsman. You call me Chief. As in 'Yes, Chief!' and 'No, Chief!' and 'Aye, Aye, Chief!' And Lieutenant Commander Karzen is a commissioned officer. And what, First Class, do we call commissioned officers?"
Krupke tried not to grit his teeth. "Sir," he said. "Chief."
"Now you're getting it," Babatunde said. "Lieutenant Commander Karzen, did you have an order to give First Class...?" Babatunde looked a question at Krupke.
"Krupke, Chief," the security petty officer said.
"Right," Babatunde said. "Commander, do you have any orders for Petty Officer First Class Krupke?"
"As a matter of fact I do," Karzen said. "If you would be so kind as to clear those sheep from the entrance to my Sickbay, I would be ever so grateful. We will, of course, provide you with any assistance you need, short of letting the animals back in. We've only just managed to clean up. You have my thanks."
Krupke barely controlled a sigh. "Aye, aye, sir," Krupke said. "We'll take care of it."
After Krupke and Shakira left, Karzen and Babatunde breathed a sigh of relief, then looked at each other and laughed, then put on their serious faces and got back to work.
Outside of Sickbay, Petty Officer 1st Class Krupke and Petty Officer 3rd Class Shakira (of the Truthful Hips Clan) stood in the corridor outside of Secondary Sickbay, wondering what to do with the sheep.
Security Officer Lieutenant Andloch tapped on her combadge making an announcement.
"This is Lieutenant Andloch, there is a holding area ready for the animals that have been captured. Herd them, carry them to Cargo Bay 51. Security is ready to receive the running, wandering fauna and avians.There are antigrav carts that are being sent out as well to help in this endeavor. Anyone who has knowledge of capturing animals with nets and also lariats. Anything will help to contain this pandemonium--Andloch out."
When they heard Lieutenant Andloch's announcement, Krupke grimaced.
"Lieutenant Andloch, Petty Officer Krupke," he said after tapping his commbadge. "We're going to try to start moving the small herd of sheep currently blockading Secondary Sickbay. I have no idea how they got here so fast, but I don't think we can get them to Cargo Bay 51 in less than an hour, and that's assuming none run off. It's only me and Shakira."
Jali responded quickly, "Reinforcements are coming to your aid."
"Acknowledged," Krupke replied. He turned to Shakira. "Alright, let's head 'em up and move 'em out! Keep movin', movin', movin', though they're disapprovin', keep them doggies movin', Shakira!"
"Uhm, Krupke?" Shakira (of the Truthful Hips Clan) said. "Sheep are ovines, not canines. Why are you calling them doggies?"
"You know what your problem is, Shakira?" Krupke said. "You have no appreciation for classical human entertainment vids."
"Right," Shakira (of the Truthful Hips Clan) said. She went back to herding sheep.
The two were met by their colleagues and together they got the sheep to the holding area.
OFF
Lieutenant Commander Karzen, Son Arjune, Son of Ragan, MD, MPH
Assistant Chief Medical Officer
Chief Flight Surgeon
&
Chief Babatunde Oladele
Independent Duty Corpsman
[Karzen]
&
Petty Officer First Class Krupke
Security
[Karzen]
&
Petty Officer Third Class Shakira (of the Truthful Hips Clan)
[Karzen]
&
Ltjg Jali Andloch
Security/Investigative Officer
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