Time Is Not a Reality But a Concept

Posted on Sat Sep 13, 2025 @ 10:22pm by Lieutenant JG Anson Lee & Lieutenant T'Lul

3,355 words; about a 17 minute read

Mission: Time After Time
Location: Chief Counselor's Office

It was not quite the start of Alpha shift when Anson dragged himself to the counselor’s office. Normally, he’d have a mug of coffee in hand at this hour, but he’d woken up in a panic at the start of Delta shift and he didn’t need to be any more jittery than he already was. Thankfully, the chief counselor was available to see him first thing, because he couldn’t bring this to any of the other counseling staff without risking a court martial for himself and a good chunk of the station for violation of the Temporal Prime Directive.

T'Lul had arrived early. There was still years of paperwork to sort out and without a full staff, she was hampered. Luckily, Vulcans did not need a great deal of sleep. So, when Anson requested time, she made certain to have it available. She wondered at the nature of his request and whether this was going to indicate further stress from one of his multitude of stressors. When he arrived, she calmly instructed, "Come in."

Anson barely waited for the door to shut behind him before he blurted out, "So remember how I told you I broke up with my girlfriend? But what if I didn't? Break up with her, I mean. Obviously, I told you. But that all happened before we took back the station so with the whole," he waved one hand vaguely in the air, "soup thing, maybe it didn't actually happen."

T'Lul blinked two or three times and then spoke cautiously, "You are going to have to explain yourself a bit more clearly. I believe that I understand you, but I would prefer to make certain that we are able to communicate correctly regarding your concern."

"So, I was in the Sol system, and I broke up with Marnie -- That's her name. Marlene Fletcher. Not that it matters. But I left there and came here. And then everything happened, and we went back and I was here, but I was also there. And now I'm just here. But what if my coming here was different." Anson didn't want to actually say 'time travel' out loud, because while preventing the universe from ending was probably a good reason to break the rules, he didn't want to find out if Starfleet Command disagreed.

"I had warned the others of the issues with time travel," T'Lul answered simply. "Though, why you should remember another timeline is beyond my understanding. I should make an inquiry of Commander Wells when I have an opportunity." She then tilted her head slightly and said, "So, you are having difficulties incorporating both timelines into your current reality. Is that correct?"

Anson flinched when she said 'time travel' aloud and hoped there was no concerns about recordings. "What if we didn't break up, and I'm being a terrible boyfriend? I haven't contacted her and I kinda flirted with one of the engineers the other day. Not, like, serious flirting, just friendly flirting, but more than I would do if I was in a relationship. So how do I figure out if we actually broke up or not?"

"Logic would dictate that you talk to her and ask. It is the most simple and straightforward method. However, you are going to have to answer if you even want to be with your girlfriend or you would prefer to pursue this other being with whom you were being flirtatious."

"Oh, sure, I ask her, and then she wants to know why, and I just, what? Tell her 'Well, we went on an unauthorized jaunt through time and my memories of the current timeline are a little messed up' and then we all get court-martialed."

"That is a valid argument," T'Lul answered. "Perhaps you could strike up a conversation with one of her close friends. If said close friend reacts negatively to you, then you likely know your status." T'Lul's posture slumped slightly. It did not seem that the Vulcan was completely satisfied with this solution. "Or, you could simply ask her out on a date. If she does not desire it, then you definitely know your status."

"A little hard to go on a date when I'm here and she's still stationed at the Fleetyards. I can't exactly ask her to jogging together separately." That was part of why it had seemed obvious to break up when he'd been suddenly transferred. The stuff they did together was stuff they did together. Hard to do things together from light years away. "Plus, if we did break up, that would be mean."

"Not mean, but honest if you have no desire for a long distance relationship," T'Lul observed. "I think you need to determine what you want before you can take action one way or the other."

Anson stared and hoped the Vulcan had misunderstood. He knew they weren't the most... in tune with social nuances species around, but somethings should be obvious. "Asking her on a date if I didn't want a relationship would absolutely be mean."

"As I said, you must determine what you want before you can take action. Do you want to date her or not? The question is simple."

"If we did actually break up this time around, too, that's the answer. Because suppose she broke up with me this time, not a mutual thing? Going back and... and harassing her for a date would not be okay. But if we didn't break up, just dropping off the face of the universe isn't okay. I don't know if I want to be dating her or not, but I do know I don't want to hurt her."

"Your empathy is admirable. However, barring a mutual parting, someone almost always feels emotional trauma from a breakup. However, at the early stages of a relationship, it is not devastating. Beings recover and move on. Would you prefer to string her along or you a long in a relationship that you do not desire, assuming that one of you does not desire it?"

Throwing his hands up in the air, he said, "But I don't even know if there is a relationship!"

"That is true. You don't. However, you need to determine whether you want one or not. If you do not, then much of this discussion is moot, because you can simply move on with your life. You might get confronted eventually, but then you can honestly respond that you thought it was time to move on given the distance. Things are more complicated if you desire the relationship."

She paused and sighed. It was difficult explaining things to a person who did not want to hear logical answers and kept repeating themselves like a toddler having a tantrum. "But until you make that threshold decision, nothing else is relevant."

"So, you're recommending that if I don't want a relationship, and it turns out we are still dating, I should act like an asshole." Anson gritted his teeth. "Is there a counselor who has experience with relationships and who knows what we did? Because you know how you said at my last appointment that people went into Counseling because they like being helpful? You're not being helpful."

"I derive satisfaction from being helpful. Unfortunately, you do not like the help I am giving. Your positions are illogical and you are jumping to conclusions that I have not asserted. If you do not want a relationship and it turns out that you are dating, it is logical she will contact you at some point. You then have the ability to tell her that you are no longer interested in pursuing a relationship. All relationships that end, end with one or the other doing something to cause it to end. Making the determination of whether you want to continue to pursue it or not after you find out whether you are in one is illogical because then you still have to make the determination of whether you want to be in it. This is a simple order of progression, Anson. Nobody said that you had to act, as you said, 'like an asshole.' The fact that you flirted with someone else and the fact in the alternate time period you broke it off leads me to believe that you were not serious about the relationship. You only bemoaned 'not having the chance to find out.' You never complained that you were not with her. You never spoke of your desire to get back with her. Logic dictates that this person is not likely your soulmate."

“Soulmates aren’t a real thing. And I don’t have to want a relationship to treat someone with respect. Marnie’s smart and kind and ignoring her if we’d agreed to try long-distance is not respectful behavior. Maybe I can go find a belligerent drunk to punch me in the head and blame my lack of memory on that.”

T'Lul was uncertain why the simple words she used could not be comprehended by the Anson. "I do believe there is a great deal of literature and biology that would disagree on your ascertation regarding soulmates. However, that is not the issue. You keep coming back to 'if you agreed to try.' But you do not know that answer. If she is smart and kind, then she would certainly understand if your new post was so time consuming that you had been simply too busy to contact her." Hopefully Anson would pick up that the Vulcan counselor suggested a white lie.

"Either way, you need to know what your intentions are towards her and it seems that you are divided on whether you want to be with her or not. Perhaps we should discuss that."

"If I say I'll break up with her, can we talk about what I actually came here to talk about?"

T'Lul straightened up and raised an eyebrow. "That is not necessary. I was under the impression that was what you came to discuss. I apologize that I misunderstood. Please, tell me what you desired to discuss."

He fought to not fall into his 'humoring-the-person-in-the-security-cell' voice. "I have been telling you. You have not been listening. I don't know about Vulcans, but Humans make decisions based on the knowledge we have. The knowledge I have been making decisions on may not be accurate and if I had different knowledge, I might have made different decisions. How do I figure out if the information I have is correct, without getting everyone court-martialed, and if it's not correct, how do I course correct in a way that, again, doesn't result in everyone court-martialed?"

His worries about his relationship with Marnie were mainly making sure she didn't feel like he'd been playing games with her. He respected her too much for that. The bigger issue was he couldn't trust that he was making decisions that made sense given the timeline changes.

Back to that again.... Following a false line of logic. She sighed. "Vulcans also make decisions on the information we have. We use logic to make those decisions and I have given you a logical way to solve your issue. However, you continue to insist on determining if you are in a relationship or not first." She sighed again, "Well, if you desire finding out which reality is this one, then I shall help." She paused for a moment or two and asked, "Do you have personal logs? Or saved messages?"

Anson pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's just the first thing where it occurred to me that my messed up memories might cause an issue. You're the one making it about if I want a relationship or not. What I want is to know is how off my memories are to what happened. I checked, and there's some differences in the records of my transfer. But I've never been one for personal logs, and I wouldn't have bothered letting my parents know about the transfer. And I didn't find any messages sent to me, So I know at least I didn't do something like tell Marnie I'd message her once I was settled, because if I'd said I'd do it and then didn't, she'd have messaged to make sure I'm not dead."

"The problem, Anson, is that both sets of memories happened. Only one set, however, is part of this timeline. You are experiencing the discontinuity, which of course, will fade as this timeline has a stronger hold. You will still remember the alternate timeline to some extent, but you will learn how to keep them straight when more reinforces this one. So, if this is a quest to reinforce your 'proper,' memories, then I am still here to help. What are the differences that you have noticed thus far?"

"The timing of my transfer is different. I got here earlier. Which, if I think about it too much, makes my head hurt. I packed different stuff. No idea why. Not like, duty-related stuff. Personal stuff." Probably when he was grabbing things for his immediate needs while the rest could be packed and shipped later, different things had been right at hand. But he wasn't sure which was driving him nuts.

"OK. What personal stuff did you pack this time, as opposed to last time? There might be a clue in that," T'Lul offered.

"Nothing dramatic. A few different shirts. A sweater I hadn't packed before. I think it was less urgent this time. I didn't need a sweater to get shot at by Cardassians."

"Can you verify how much notice you had before your transfer? Perhaps that would have given you time to talk to your Schrodinger's girlfriend."

Anson grimaced. "Please don't call her that. Pretty sure she's not in a box or a zombie."

"The concept is accurate because she may or may not be your girlfriend. What offends you about the analysis?" T'Lul wondered.

"May or may not be my girlfriend is not the same as may or may not be dead," Anson said. He really didn't want to think about her dead. "Also, the only think I can think of that is both not dead and not alive is a zombie, which.... Do you even know what a zombie is?"

"I know of your Terran mythologies. I also know of the usage to generally refer to a person who is brainless and operates in an unthinking manner. Why do you ask?"

"Because most people, if they knew what a zombie was, wouldn't use a metaphor that makes someone else sound like one." Maybe the reason Vulcans weren't known for their metaphors was because they were terrible at them.

"I do not understand. I've never alluded to anyone being a zombie." T'Lul's eyes crossed, confused.

"I told you. Zombies are the only thing I can think of that are both dead and not dead. Like the cat. .... I've been told I'm not always the most linear thinker."

"I believe the word for zombies that you are looking for is undead, which is quite a different state that being one of two things at the same time," T'Lul pointed out.

“That’s what you’re focused on? My word choice?” Anson blinked. “Besides, I think undead is mainly for vampires. Anyway, none of that helps solve my actual issue."

"Which is determining whether you broke up with your girlfriend or not girlfriend, as the case might be..." T'Lul observed, deliberately avoiding the reference to Schrodinger's, as it seemed to offend Anson for reasons that T'Lul still could not comprehend. He had some strange notions of how to handle problems but it was T'Lul's duty to assist and she would find a way to get through to him even if it meant using a sledgehammer.

“Which is figuring out which of my memories are no longer what happened,” Anson corrected. Her focus on his (ex?)girlfriend was strange and he wasn’t sure he liked it. She was almost more invested than he was. He’d expected a more practical focus from a Vulcan, and he squirmed a little in his seat under T’Lul’s focus.

"You do realize, both are true. They both happened. You have even been able to identify some of the ones that were different, including what you packed and how rushed or not rushed it was. Your question when you came in was how to deal with the girlfriend and discover what you may be with her. Now you shy away from that. Why?"

Anson groaned. "We've been through this. Are you even listening to me? I thought Vulcans were better at remembering things."

"I am listening and I remember everything well. However, your statements are inconsistent and illogical, so I am attempting to better understand them so I can better assist."

"I'm human," Anson snapped. "I'm not required to be logical."

"That is an accurate statement. Would you be surprised to know that I am not convinced that logic is not the solution to everything?"

The swerve in topic made Anson stop. He considered the idea of logic as the solution to all things. "I mean, obviously. Logic can't explain lots of things. Like Jello." It was the first thing that came to mind. All that wiggling. "But if you get that, why do you keep trying to shove it on me?"

"I do not try 'shoving it,' on you, as you state. However, logic does offer solutions that emotions often cannot sort. However, there is a great deal of scientific data on intuition being more accurate when there are less facts than logic. So, I have studied emotions for a long time. This problem, though, is one of a factual nature. How do you determine what are the facts of this timeline, right? I cannot see how emotions are helpful for discovering facts."

"If emotions weren't involved, none of this would bother me, and I wouldn't be here, because I wouldn't care." He was annoyed enough by the around and around that the worry about the facts of the situation were starting to fade.

A corner of T'Lul's lip infinitesimally rose up. She got to the crux of the situation. He still cared about this woman. "Not caring is still an emotion. However, because you have argued so strenuously about this, rather than just trying to accept the two sets of memories, it is apparent to me that you still have feelings for this woman. I think it would be prudent for you to just talk with her and see what occurs."

Vulcans, Anson decided, were never to be a source of relationship advice. There was a massive difference between having feels about someone and being in a relationship with someone. He'd never denied caring about Marnie, but that didn't mean he was seeking to be more than friends, especially at a distance. "Fine. Any other advice, or should I go get ready for my shift?"

"I apologize that I have annoyed you. That was not my intent," T'Lul observed. "However, the only real solution to your problem is to talk to her. From there, you can decide what path your future will take."

"No, I didn't think you were doing it on purpose," Anson said. The whole session felt like a waste of time, but that wasn't something you could just tell the chief counselor. "But I wasn't kidding about needing to get ready for my shift."

"I see," T'Lul answered. She doubted the complete veracity of the statement but he came to her and she was not about to force the issue. "I will follow up with you later."

"Yeah, sure," he said, already heading towards the door. Maybe he'd get lucky and there'd be a minor emergency like a shoplifting ring or a replicator malfunction causing them to spit out large amounts of pudding that would prevent that.

Lt. jg. Anson Lee
Assistant Chief Security Officer
Deep Space Five

Lieutenant T'Lul
Chief Counselor
Deep Space Five

OOC: I think that's about it.

 

RSS Feed